WEEK NINE- Weekly Journal

I have a lot of responsibilty at my placement, which has somewhat surprised me because I thought that I would work more behind the scenes. However, Mme. Mercer has given me the power to make many decisions, and do things that I see fit. This makes me feel as if I am more involved in my workplace, and that I actually matter. Some decisions that I make are questions that should be put on quizzes and tests (I usually choose from various previous tests). I also can decide how I want to explain things to students and how I generally interact with them. I do want to be more stern with conflict resolution, however, because I want to be seen as more of an authority figure. I was also given the power to choose the last two units that the grade sixes will be doing. The most power I have been given, however, is the power to actually teach the classes a lesson. I get to work with Mme. to figure out how we can do this. I have also been in charge of the tools I need for my lesson, such as making flashcards.
If I make a mistake at my placement I feel very bad and do everything I can to make it right. I always try to clarify what has to be done so that I minimize any chance of me making a mistake, but I am only human, and they are bound to happen. I have not yet made a very big mistake, but I think I know how to handle them. I always take my mistakes as learning experiences because I won't make the same mistake twice. I always make sure to address my mistakes so that I show initiative and that I am learning. Making and accepting apologies is a very important part of being at my placement because I have to teach the kids that taking responsibility for something wrong shows maturity and that you can handle adversity in life. I have to show them that they cannot run from their problems, and they have to face them head on. If I see that a student is getting picked on I will ask that apologies be made, and they can decide for themselved if they want to accept them. I personally always make a point of apologizing when I make a mistake or feel that it is necessary, just for my own piece of mind and personal progression.
This week I learned that I can do anything I set my mind to. Mme. Mercer was away two days this week, so I had to deal with supply teachers and therefore the bad behaviour of the classes. I am usually more on the soft-stern side in the classroom, but I was forced to be on my toes and very firm with the class. I had to raise my voice for the first time, which I did not like at all, but I knew that it had to be done. It bothers me that the students don't think that I will report who's being bad to Mme. Mercer. The lowpoint of my week came when I said I would tell Mme. Mercer who was being rude and bad, and one girl turned to me and said "That would be very uncool". It showed me that they think I am their friend and an ally, rather than someone who works with Mme. The comment also put everything into perspective for me, such as that these kids are still very immature and young, and so I should not let what they say to me get to me. I am half-way through co-op, and I am feeling very proud of myself because I have really surprised myself. I have become so much more confident in myself and my abilities, and am looking really forward to putting these skills to use in the future. I love my placement and have learned that I would love to be a teacher in the future.